When Lakay, L’eglise, Lekol Can’t Save You

Posted on June 9. 2020 by Yoye

Ladies and gentlemen we have a problem! You know what, maybe not one but several. Go ahead and take a seat, because I have some things to get off my chest.

These things have been a hindrance to me and more than likely it has for many of you. For me, growing up in Miami, Florida was great, but early adulthood was not so pleasant. The pressure I felt as a second generation Haitian alongside the real world expectations I encountered as a young professional was overwhelming. Talk about first world problems! First world compared to the third world hardships that are all too real and very much close to home does not negate the fact that my childhood years did not foster and nurture skills for surviving the professional world as a black woman.

In my cultural community there’s a phrase known as “Lakay, L’eglise,Lekol” which means "Church, Home, and School.” It simply states that if you are not at one of these places you ain’t got no business being out. For me, I was mostly at home and school. The only conflict resolutions I had were through my grandmother while arguing or fighting with my cousins. So picture that and imagine me leaving high school and entering college a week later with the mindset of Lakay, L’eglise, Lekol to elevate ourselves in America but not knowing what to do in school. There was always pressure to become a doctor, nurse, engineer or a lawyer. I wasn’t rebelling against the idea because of all the sacrifices I saw my family make for the collective of family; but I felt I was called to be an educator through my natural gifts and circumstances.

But...but….major BUT... I had to learn real quick about the black sorority mentality, politics, and what overworking yourself can lead to. Many of these experiences were abrupt and sometimes painful. Encountering the aforementioned sorority and political work environment was very different from what I envisioned work would be like. I felt like these things I would never learn in college and thought professional life would be without in the setting I was in. I mean I was working in communities I was from and at one point in a school I once attended. Some of these bad experiences that blindsided me has shown me to do the following:

1. Find your purpose in your work, but change the plan accordingly

2. Seek mentors in any work environment

3. Always seek to learn and grow

4. Try to understand where people are coming from

5. Remember that you are important

6. Your decisions affect others

Well, I’ve learned and grown a lot but I would like to leave you with this proverb:

You can’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

If the work you do overwhelms you, take a step back and learn from it, grow and impact your work with the values your childhood taught you. Change the plan if needed but never change your purpose. Through all the lessons, I now find my self care is mostly in “Lakay, L’eglise, and Lekol”.