Dating Commandments: Thou Shall Google Him

Photo: Harpo Productions/ Photographer: Joe Pugliese

Lessons I learned from the Meghan Markle interview is that it’s important to armour yourself with knowledge and not love alone. For those who are familiar with the history of the United Kingdom, it has a clear history of global colonialism aka the CommonWealth, upholding outdated traditions, and the tragedy of Princess Diana. There were so many echoes of history repeating itself with the treatment of Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex but the only difference between their story and Princess Diana’s was racism. The “one-drop-rule” of African-American heritage played a major factor in the lack of protection for their family and child. It was absolutely unsurprising that they wondered about the complexion of their child Archie but was more unsettling was their willingness to disinherit their own lineage in the name of protecting the firm/crown/institution in the name of white supremacy. I could never fathom how they could remove the security for their own Prince and his son then publicly announce it, it feels heartless.

But the most important lesson I took from this is that Meghan believed that they would protect her, but didn’t. This reminded me how a lot of people enter new relationships blindly trusting another person they know little about that they would in-turn protect their heart. So to all my people out there dating or ready to jump the broom I have only one question … Sis did you Google him first? A partnership, relationship, or marriage is a business contract of the heart and sometimes it's literally just business. Yes, romance is wonderful and is important but you have to make sure you know the fundamental foundation and characteristics of a person and their family because this can affect your life forever. So many people have ended up getting a divorce because they did not know themselves, or what they want or needed in a relationship, and most of all the person.

Here are some ways to find out more about your new beau.

• Social Media Investigation: Instagram, Facebook andTwitter are your friends. It’s the most free and simplest background check you can do. Also, it will give you some perspective on what kind of image your potential boo is highlighting on the net. Branding even exists in your real life.

• Background Check App: BeenVerified gives you access to public records such as criminal records, marriage records, and property. This app was suggested to me back in college from my journalist professor lol.

• Ask questions!! So many people don’t take the time to ask the right questions. “Like do you want kids?, Have you ever been married?, What's your credit score?, and when can I see your STI results?”

• Communicate what you want and what’s your deal breakers. I try not to focus on the negatives but you need to take the time to write down and understand what you want and can’t handle in a relationship because in the end the only person who will be suffering if you don’t speak up is you. So save yourself the trouble. For instance, I understand at this moment in time I’m not ready for kids, nor am I interested in dating someone with kids. Just not cohesive with my lifestyle and that’s ok. Also, a repeated pattern of cheating or financial irresponsibility is something you don’t with it. Set standards and boundaries.

Did you watch the Oprah interview? How do you feel about Harry & Meghan revelations? Also, what research techniques do you use when dating? Comment down below!