Is Roster Dating for You?

So I’m back with another dating post! Ladies… I’ve been in this dating game for over a year now. It’s been really interesting to say the least. The other day while scanning the internet streets, I came across YouTuber Chloe’s You're Single Until You're Married: 12 Feminine Ways to Win at Roster Dating! After perusing the comments… I decided to give it a watch. That video really made me question if my way of dating was inefficient. Maybe dating one person at a time isn’t the best for this Black woman. Who knows...

OWN's "Ready to Love" Season 2 Cast Pictured

What is Roster Dating?

Roster Dating is exactly how it sounds. You build a roster of two or more suitors to date. Each suitor is ranked on your most desirable/compatible. The goal is to build a roster of 60%-80% compatibility.

Examples of such dating tactics were portrayed on Season 2 of HBO’s Insecure. Issa, the lead character, was desperately trying to establish a “hotation” after failed situation-ships post her break up with her long-time boyfriend, Lawrence. Another great example of roster dating is OWN’s Ready to Love dating show where groups of single men and women date each other and eliminate suitors based on each gendered groups’ roster preferences.

Why Roster Dating Works?

1. No one suitor will be able to monopolize your time without making a real commitment, choosing to be exclusive.

2. It helps avoid situation-ships and entanglements if you are dating intentionally for marriage.

3. You protect your emotional space. If a suitor turns out to be an “f-boy” or “f-girl”, you can simply remove them from your roster sans emotional backlash. If you are too excited about a single suitor, you have more time/distance to process your emotions.

4. Learn more about yourself by dating different types of suitors. Learning about yourself really does help in making long-term romantic decisions.

5. Increases your desirability. If suitors have less access to you, they'll make the time spent with you fruitful.

Is Roster Dating for Me?

I’m still trying to figure that out. As an introvert, my social energy is really precious to me. Like I mentioned in my Friends, How Many of Us Have Them? article, I really do have wonderful relationships in my life that I make sure to nourish. Despite my introversion, I really do love people. I love getting to know a person, genuinely, and sometimes that means I will overinvest my time and energy when the vibe is right. I truly have been embracing the process of dating and really don’t want to move too quickly when I meet someone I really vibe with.

With such a short dating resume, I want to make sure that I’m not prematurely committing to someone. At this time, I need to pray on this method more and get some spiritual direction. I do not want the fear of missing out (FOMO) to creep in nor do I want to objectify my suitors. It’s a tricky concept for me to wrap my head around. I'll let ya'll know my choice method in a few weeks.

Do you have a dating roster? If yes, share your experience and tips below. If you like this post, share it with your friends.